You're watching a K-drama and notice the same character says 어디 가? to a friend but 어디 가요? to a stranger. That one extra syllable is the heart of formal vs informal Korean. The language splits into two registers, and picking the wrong one with the wrong person is the quickest way to sound rude without meaning to.
The two registers are 존댓말 (jondaenmal, polite speech) and 반말 (banmal, casual speech). This beginner-friendly guide covers when to use each, how to flip a sentence between them, and the one safe default that keeps you out of trouble. Every example below has romanization, an English gloss, and native audio where we have it.
What's the difference between 존댓말 and 반말?
존댓말 (jondaenmal) is polite, respectful speech for strangers, elders, and anyone above you in age or status — it usually ends in -요 or -습니다. 반말 (banmal) is casual speech for close friends your own age and people younger than you, and it simply drops the -요. Same meaning, different level of respect.
| Feature | 존댓말 (polite) | 반말 (casual) |
|---|---|---|
| Typical ending | -요 / -(스)ㅂ니다 | plain stem (no -요) |
| Word for "I" | 저 (jeo) | 나 (na) |
| Word for "yes" | 네 (ne) | 응 (eung) |
| "Where are you going?" | 어디 가요? (eodi gayo) | 어디 가? (eodi ga) |
| Use it with | Strangers, elders, bosses, new people | Close friends your age, younger people |
| Get it wrong and… | Sounds cold if used with a close friend | Sounds rude if used with an elder or stranger |
When do I use 존댓말 instead of 반말?
Use 존댓말 by default with anyone you don't know well or who outranks you in age or status. Switch to 반말 only with close friends your own age, people younger than you, or when someone explicitly invites you to. When you're unsure, 존댓말 is always the safe pick.
| Who you're talking to | Register | Typical ending |
|---|---|---|
| A stranger or shop clerk | 존댓말 (polite) | -요 (가요) |
| Someone clearly older | 존댓말 (polite) | -요 (가요) |
| A boss, teacher, or client | 존댓말 (formal) | -(스)ㅂ니다 (갑니다) |
| A new acquaintance your age | 존댓말 first | -요 (가요) |
| A close friend your age | 반말 | plain stem (가) |
| A child or younger sibling | 반말 | plain stem (가) |
The one rule for formal vs informal Korean
When in doubt, default to 존댓말. Nobody is ever offended by being treated too politely, and Koreans will tell you when it's okay to relax. Starting in 반말 with the wrong person, on the other hand, is hard to walk back. Polite first, casual later — that order almost never fails.
Hear 존댓말 in action
These are the polite forms you'll lean on every day. Tap each one to hear a native speaker — notice how the -요 and -습니다 endings carry the respect.
How to switch a sentence from 존댓말 to 반말
Going from polite to casual is mostly subtraction: drop the -요, swap 저 for 나, and swap 네 for 응. A few phrases collapse into shorter words too. Here are the most common everyday swaps side by side.
| 존댓말 (polite) | 반말 (casual) | What changed |
|---|---|---|
| 안녕하세요 (annyeonghaseyo) | 안녕 (annyeong) | Greeting collapses to one word |
| 고마워요 (gomawoyo) | 고마워 (gomawo) | Drop the -요 |
| 어디 가요? (eodi gayo) | 어디 가? (eodi ga) | Drop the -요 |
| 저는 학생이에요. (jeoneun haksaeng-ieyo) | 나는 학생이야. (naneun haksaeng-iya) | 저 → 나, -이에요 → -이야 |
| 네 (ne) | 응 (eung) | "Yes" goes casual |
| 밥 먹었어요? (bap meogeosseoyo) | 밥 먹었어? (bap meogeosseo) | Drop the -요 |
The 말 놓다 moment: dropping the formality
Friends don't stay in 존댓말 forever. At some point one person suggests 말 놓다 (mal nota) — literally "to put your words down," meaning "let's drop the formal speech." I still remember the slightly nervous beat before a Korean friend asked me 우리 말 놓을까? It's a real milestone, like being handed a key.
Common mistakes with 존댓말 and 반말
These are the slips that mark a brand-new learner. None are a disaster, but fixing them makes you sound noticeably more natural — and more respectful.
| What learners do | Do this instead | Why |
|---|---|---|
| 반말 with an elder you just met | Use 존댓말 (-요) | Casual speech with elders or strangers feels disrespectful |
| Saying 나 for "I" in polite speech | Use 저 (jeo) with 존댓말 | 저 is the humble "I" that matches polite endings |
| Switching to 반말 the moment someone is friendly | Wait for the 말 놓다 invitation | Dropping formality uninvited can offend, especially with elders |
| Mixing 존댓말 and 반말 in one sentence | Pick one register and keep it | Mixing reads as careless or even disrespectful |
Korean rarely uses a blunt "you." Instead of 너 (neo, the casual "you"), use the person's name + 씨 (ssi) or their title. Reaching for 너 with someone you should be addressing in 존댓말 is a classic giveaway.
Quick check: 존댓말 or 반말?
1. You meet your friend's mother for the first time. Which "thank you" fits?
2. Which word for "I" belongs in 존댓말?
3. Your same-age coworker says 우리 말 놓을까요? What just happened?
That's formal vs informal Korean in a nutshell: default to 존댓말, wait for the invitation to switch, and you'll rarely slip. Now try it — greet someone with 안녕하세요, then say 안녕 to a friend. For more, see our Korean honorifics guide, the essential greetings post, and the greetings vocabulary set.
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